Category: JUST 4 FUN FRIDAYS

Today’s Riddle for Seniors – The ‘Just for Fun Entry’ for Friday 12/29/17

My Final Opportunity to
Poke Fun at Senior Citizens
as the 
Friday Just for Fun

for 12/29/17



 

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,”Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.” He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then…” he said with a deep sigh

 
…………
 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
Once again, I have Paul Graves to thank for
sharing this bit of humor with me
.

Today’s Riddle for Seniors – The ‘Just for Fun Entry’ for Friday 12/15/17

Today’s riddle for seniors…

Here is the situation:

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop-off.
On your left side is an elephant traveling
at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo
and your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same
speed as you and the kangaroo.
What must you do to get out of this highly

dangerous situation?

 

      See answer below:
 
 
 
 
 
 
Get off the merry-go-round and go home;
You’ve had enough excitement for one day...

The Cynical Philosopher – The ‘Just for Fun Entry’ for Friday 12/01/17

The Cynical Philosopher: Oldie But Still Goodie . . .

 
♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks … but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.


Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.
Thanks to Kathy’s School Days Classmate
Terry Hayes for Sending This Our Way

Yogi Berra Quotes – The ‘Just for Fun Entry’ for Friday 11/03/17

Yogi in His Playing Days

Preface by Bill:
I would guess that most of us at one point or another have heard a quote attributed to Yogi Berra. Whether or not we follow sports, or of an age where we can recall Yogi as a player or subsequently a manager, it seems somehow refreshing to think that there was a human being who was not a professional comedian who said such head-scratching things.

According to his granddaughter, who shared a perspective on her grandfather from a time when she was a young adult and, I believe, a reporter for ESPN, so she knew something about sports. She was visiting her grandfather at his home and they were watching a tennis match between U.S. tennis pro Andy Roddick and some other top seeded player.

Yogi apparently thought Roddick was quite good looking, as he said to his granddaughter, “You should date him.”

She replied, “Grandpa, he’s dating a swimsuit model.”

Yogi’s response was, “You have swimsuits.”

Now how in the world could one think of a response to a man whose brain seems to spontaneously come up with non-sequiters?

Bill 


Click below to watch a video with background music and
multiple Yogi Berra quotes:

The Wedding

The Wedding

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything
to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
 
It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.
 
The moment of utter silence was broken by a young
beautiful woman carrying a child.
 
She started walking toward the pastor slowly.
Everything quickly turned to chaos.
 
The bride slapped the groom.
 
The groom’s mother fainted.
 
The groomsmen started giving each other looks and
wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward?
 
What do you have to say?”

The woman replied, “We can’t hear in the back.”


Thanks to Dick Nelson for sending this to me
so I could in turn share it with you..

Bill    


A New Alphabet for Serniors – The ‘Just for Fun Entry’ for Friday 10/20/17

It is Friday the 20th.
 
Given that this day marks my 75th day of life on Planet Earth, and that Sharon, my only surviving sibling is visiting us, and she is 87, I thought it would be appropriate to share a ‘new’ version of the alphabet – one specifically designed for so-called ‘Senior Citizens.’
 
Bill


New Alphabet:
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.

The Alphabet For Seniors:

 
A’s for arthritis,
B’s the bad back,
C’s the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? 
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.
H is for high blood pressure – I’d rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L ‘s for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!
P’s for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow,
V for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.
W for worry, now what’s going ’round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have – in my mind!



Our thanks to Joe Kramarz for sending
these delightful images and laugh lines
our way!

How God Cares for Senior Citizens

God’s Special Care for Senior Citizens

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking.

And God looked down and saw that it was very good.

Then God saw that there was another need. In His wisdom, He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, thus necessitating bending, reaching, and stretching.

And God looked down and saw that it was very good.

Then God considered the function of bladders.

In His wisdom, He decided that the requirement for seniors to make more trips to the bathroom would provide more exercise.

And God looked down and saw that it was very good.Ergo, if you find that as you age you are getting up and down more, remember that this is God’s will for you. It is in your best interest even though it might lead you to mutter either under your breath or out loud.


Nine important facts to remember vis-a-vis the aging process:

#9 Death is the number one killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is known to contribute to living longer
than you might prefer to be the case.

#6 Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky panky.
Therefore, should you not be in the mood for the latter,
make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day.
However, if you teach someone else how to use a computer,
said person won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe even a year.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day when they are
lying in a hospital bed, or at home or in a care center, in the
process of dying for possibly no reason at all.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac
to make it seem normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today
may become a burning issue tomorrow.

Don’t ignore this message!
It is your only warning.

 
I’d gladly give credit where credit is due
should you be the one who sent this to me.
However, alas, I’m about to turn 75 and
I can’t remember how these words of
wisdom came to my attention.
 
However, even though I know God works
in strange and mysterious ways, I doubt
I can credit the Divine One with this form
of Senioritis.
Bill

Fun With Statues – The ‘Just for Fun Entry’ for Friday 09/29/17
















You likely noticed that the ‘Fun With Statues’ photos above, were all part of a series of photos from ‘London Media.’ When I sent the series to our webmaster for insertion on the website, she replied with the photo below and the brief note: ‘One More.’
One more indeed, as it is webmaster Cynthia ‘having fun’ with a statue of Mozart. That Mozart should be her ‘statue of choice’ is totally appropriate, as in addition to her considerable skills as a webmaster, she is a very accomplished pianist and choral director.
Thanks, Cynthia!


Cynthia Marlette ‘Having fun with a statue of Mozart’

Animals and Humor Go Together

PICTORIAL (AND CAPTION)
EVIDENCE THAT ANIMALS & HUMOR
TRULY DO ‘BELONG TOGETHER’


The ‘photo string’ above was circulated
by a blogger who shares her or his
funny animal pics using the blog title
‘Animals Think They’re So Funny.’
The animal pictures are great, but
kudos to the caption writer for
putting the ‘icing on the cake.’
Bill